Drop or Not? A Decision-Making Framework for Professionals

The Drop or Not Framework is a simple, visual decision-making tool designed to help parents, educators, therapists, and coaches quickly assess whether to hold or let go of an expectation. Using a traffic light-inspired flow, this framework walks professionals and caregivers through a structured process to determine whether a demand is within a child’s window of tolerance—and if not, how to adjust or drop it with intention.

Who is this for?

✅ Mental health professionals supporting families navigating neurodivergence

✅ Coaches working with parents on reducing power struggles

✅ Educators seeking a low-demand approach in the classroom

✅ Caregivers who want a quick, reliable tool for decision-making in the moment

How it works:

🔹 Green Light – Push Forward

When a challenge is hard but doable, professionals can guide caregivers in supporting their child while maintaining regulation.

🔹 Yellow Light – Adjust & Adapt

If a demand risks pushing a child into dysregulation, the framework provides quick-draw strategies to modify the ask, increase supports, and prevent escalation.

🔹 Red Light – Drop Wholeheartedly

When a demand is too hard and maintaining it will cause distress, the framework offers a compassionate reframe, helping caregivers see the act of dropping as a gift of capacity rather than a failure.

Why professionals love this framework:

✔ Easy to teach, easy to use – Visual and straightforward, making it highly accessible for overwhelmed caregivers.

✔ Based in nervous system science – Helps professionals shift caregivers away from behavior-based discipline models to a compassionate, regulation-first approach.

✔ Practical & adaptable – Can be used across a wide variety of settings, from therapy and coaching to parenting groups and classrooms.

This ready-to-use professional resource is available as a high-quality printable PDF.